For a long time, part of my struggle was leaving the house. No, I wasn't agoraphobic. I had no trouble going to the market... okay, sometimes I was too tired. But it wasn't the act of leaving the house. It was schedules. Repetition. I couldn't handle the normal work schedule. Those jobs never suited me. They didn't work out, one way or the other.
It was in undergrad (which I finished online from home) that I started working from home again. I'd dabbled in it before doing customer service jobs and the like, but those weren't really up my alley, either. Instead, I needed to both work from home and be true to myself and my inner goddess. This was going to be hard. As it turned out, it was also well worth it.
I found small, freelance gigs where I could write. I have always been a writer. I love journaling. I was a news reporter and editor for my school paper for three years. I always excelled in writing assignments and English courses. It's my thing, and I chose to embrace it much the way an artist embraces their Etsy shop and so forth. Words are my art.
Of course, writing small pieces about auto parts or psychological disorders was not my dream. But it was a start. People were paying me to write their website content. Sure, the pay wasn't great, and I likely would've made far more starting out of college working in an office somewhere doing the 9-5 grind, but that wasn't going to sit well with my soul.
Those small writing gigs eventually turned into slightly larger ones working on travel pieces and city guides. I love travel and cities. So, that worked out alright, but I still wasn't doing anything that I wanted to brag or boast about. Then I was hired by a company that handles the advertising content for the majority of all addiction and mental health treatment centers in the world. Yeah, that felt like responsibility. But I was ecstatic at the beginning. I was excited to have what I finally deemed to be a real career with a solid and recognized Fortune 500 company - and the pay was far better, too.
I still got to work from home, and I was writing content so fast my fingers ached at the end of the day. It was worth it, or so I thought. As time drug on, I realized many times that my editor would check in with me about certain things I'd written wanting corrections. No big deal, right? Writers make errors, and sometimes it's not necessarily an error, but the company just wants a different take on the content and needs you to alter the meaning behind your work. I tried not to take that personally.
But what I did take personally was how often I was asked to alter things that I wrote with full disclosure. In a nutshell, they didn't want that. They didn't want transparency. They wanted me to paint a perfect picture of their treatment model that encouraged clients who were struggling with illnesses and addiction to come pay for their facility to make them further dependent on drugs while not doing much to treat their illnesses.
I turned my back on this for a long time. I had to earn a living. We'd left our hometown and were living in a house that cost four times as much as the one in our hometown had each month. On top of bills, we were planning on another child, or two, or ten. It would be irresponsible to walk away from a good-paying job just because I was unhappy with it. So what, right? Tons of other people are in the same predicament, and their jobs don't allow them to be home with their kids. What did I have to complain about?
Plenty! I morally, ethically and spiritually disagreed with the very core of what I was being paid to do. I wasn't being true to myself at all! I was earning a living and doing what society expected of me, but at what price? While I was encouraging others with mental illness to put their trust in people who shouldn't be trusted, my mental wellness was falling by the wayside. I was tired every day. I kept struggling with writer's block. The words just wouldn't come to me the way they used to. My editor complained more than once that some of my work wasn't fluid or lacked substance.
That's because I'd checked out. I was done with that job long before I actually left it. Sadly, I never even considered leaving it behind before my partner told me it was okay to do so. He supported me finding another job, even if it meant it didn't pay as well. I look back on that now and wonder why I felt I needed his approval to take charge of my own happiness. I no longer let myself think that way.
So, I did just that. I found a new job, and it has been the biggest blessing in my life next to my family. I started working for BabyGaga almost a year ago, and it has been so transformative for me. I get to speak out about the perils of the birth community — something near and dear to my heart. No one tries to silence me or tells me to rewrite it. I get to share my knowledge of the risks that individuals with MTHFR (like myself and many with PMDD) face when using certain drugs and vaccines. No one tries to silence me. I get to advocate for women who want control over their birth experiences and need the male-dominated medical field to stay the hell out of their way. No one tries to silence me. I also get to write about PMDD, progesterone intolerance, the risks of birth control and much more... and... you guessed it! No one tries to silence me!
I'm allowed to be me y'all! And I get paid to do it. This is what I call being true to myself at work. This is where I belong. I don't get paid as much as I did when I was churning out implied lies for an industry I had no faith in after seeing it up close, but I get so much more from the work that I do. The words flow effortlessly. In two hours, I have a freshly-written 3,000 word article at my fingertips and it's mine, with my name on it. I'm proud of that. I have garnered such a following in birth and women's communities. Parents have sought me out to help them research important decisions for their children. I am filled with so much joy that the money cannot compare. I would've laughed in your face if you'd told me back then that a year later I'd have 33 million people reading my work.
It's a career like this that has helped to give me back my mojo. My drive. The energy I needed to jump back into this blog and keep spreading awareness. I know I would not be where I am today on this journey to overcome PMDD without having switches gears and left my toxic and stressful prior job in the past. I have so many irons in the fire now. So many things I want to do with all of this creative energy. This blog is just one of them. I hope you'll stay tuned for the rest. You can read my work at BabyGaga here.
Love,
Danielle
Saturday, July 29, 2017
Leaving The Label Behind
This is just one more step in the journey for me, and it's actually one of the more recent ones I've made. Earlier this year, I happened to get into a discussion with Cat Hawkins. Let's just call her the PMDD guru. She was a mentor of sorts for me for many years before she chose to exit the PMDD scene. The support group I run (https://www.facebook.com/groups/PMDDREDTENT/) was hers before me. She passed on the torch when she reached a point in her life where she felt the label was no longer doing her any good. She had grown beyond PMDD and the diagnosis that required her to live (at least in her online presence) as though she was afflicted by an illness and nothing more was holding her back from being true to herself.
At that stage in my life, I was still heavily embroiled in PMDD advocacy and wanting to find relief for women. I had begun to see improvements in my own life, but they were mostly still from a medical/physical standpoint. I came off of birth control, which I'd been on for 22 months. Yes, I am still a hater of birth control even though it helped me some while I was on it. It makes so many women worse, and it's just a band-aid.
Yes, a band-aid. The Yaz wasn't hurting me in any way. In fact, it reduced my number of bad days while I was on it. In effort to be true to me, though, and to my cycle, I knew I couldn't stay on it. It was more important to me to endure whatever came my way without the buffer of birth control in a pursuit of getting in touch with my true cycle than to escape PMDD. To my surprise, when I went off of Yaz, there was no turbulence. My PMDD was not any worse. Because of this, I only felt stronger that it was the right choice to stop it. As my spiritual connection to my inner divine feminine strengthened, I felt PMDD melt away more.
I also started making some serious choices regarding my lifestyle. I added in more whole foods. I don't drink alcohol much to begin with and I don't use any drugs, though I would be open to marijuana if I ever felt I needed something again in my life. I cut out toxic people. This was a big change for me. I don't care who it is. A shitty boss, your overbearing mother, your hubby's family... no one said it was going to be easy, ladies. There may be arguments over it, as well. I've been there. But if there are people in your life who aren't serving you well and helping to carry you to a higher level of being, then they have no place there. It doesn't matter who they are. Cut them out.
That same year, my fiance and I separated for a bit. If you want to call it that. He moved out. We lived apart for several months, and it took that for me to have some true separation in my mind of what feelings and thoughts were really coming from me, and what was fueled by PMDD. We moved back in together eventually and have been stronger for it ever since.
The following year, I found a full time job working from home as a writer. This was a big accomplishment for me personally, because I am more comfortable at home. Having to be on someone else's schedule and leave the house every day just isn't my style. I realize that may sound immature or even selfish, but in an effort to be true to me and who I am, I decided I had to break the mold of what society, my partner or my parents etc thought I should be. I needed to create. I have always been a writer. This is who I am. Going against that in any fashion left me feeling angry and depleted. The energy that would come out every month had nowhere to go, so it ended up being directed in the wrong places as anger and frustration.
At this point, things really started improving for me. The bad days were at their fewest. The depression was mild. I was still functioning. I was social. I lived life on my own schedule, which was a huge relief for me. When a family function arose that I didn't want to attend, I didn't go. I learned to say no, and it was empowering and beneficial. The downside to this was that sometimes those functions were my partner's family, and he would argue with me about my attendance. As soon as we both let go of the idea that we had to be the nuclear family and do everything expected of us, and had to do everything together, life got easier. He loves going to those events. So, he'd go without me. Sometimes he would take the kids and sometimes he wouldn't. The point is, I do what I want, and as childish as that sounds... that is truly what women throughout history are supposed to be doing. It is society that has led us astray. It's not about material or surface wants. It's about instinct and intuition. It's about letting our cycle and the phase we are in guide us and not fighting back against it. Living this way will truly only bring you peace. It can just be a battle to get everyone around you to accept it in this day and age of societal norms and everyone being PC.
Life continued to get better that year and we eventually moved. We had been living in our hometown (which I hate with a passion lol) while my partner studied for, took and passed the bar exam. As soon as he found a job, we were on our way out. This again helped, because that was the last place I ever wanted to live. Again, it's all about following your gut and living a true life that meets your needs. While it's no secret that my ultimate goal is to live back in Salem, Mass (I am most certainly some kind of witch lol) again, that is on pause until it makes the most sense for our family to go back there. And you know what? I'm okay with that. I wasn't for a while. I was bent on going back ASAP. Then my partner got a job offer that would've taken us back, but it also would've meant we'd barely ever see him. I chose him and our family. I made that choice. Just like I made the choice recently to buy a house locally. We will get back to Salem, where my heart is stuck beating without me. Until then, I will live this life to the fullest and accept all that comes with it. Don't skip part of your journey because you're so eager to jump ahead. Don't assume life doesn't start until you find the guy, get the ring, have that baby and so forth. This is your life. Are you really living it?
By 2014 I was a far different person than the woman who started out with PMDD struggling so deeply. I had learned so much, and while I'd probably read every piece of peer-reviewed literature ever published on hormones and menstruation, it was the insight from historical points of view and spirituality that eventually put me on the right path. Read more about that here.
When Cat turned the Red Tent over to me and parted ways, she left a long post to group members about her reasons for departing, and while I sympathized, I didn't fully understand this until much later. It's refreshing and exciting to find myself in the same place nowadays. Now I get it. I've outgrown this label. I've outgrown PMDD. What I am is far bigger than PMDD. I am a woman. I'm mysterious and mystical. I have superpowers that PMDD wants to suppress with a label and drugs. I am product of hundreds and thousands of women who came before me whose spirits are pleading with me to recognize my true power.
The closer to get to those women, the closer I get to the divine feminine, the closer I get to me. It all makes sense now. And thus, because I have outgrown this label, I too chose to leave it behind. I shudder a bit when having to explain PMDD to someone, because I don't even want to use the terminology. I still ponder medical causes and don't discount that this condition arises out of nowhere for most women. It certainly did for me. But I look back now and see how it all played out. I see how much work it took to undo it, and I am stronger for that. This is why even though I do wonder if my PMDD will ever return, I do not fear such as terribly as some might think. Because I know I can overcome it. And I know you can, too.
I haven't made a grand announcement in my group that I'm leaving it behind. Mostly, I am not yet content with any one person that I want to pass it on to. But I have a great admin team that helps out. And as I noted, the drama and negativity are at the bare minimum in our group. So, I never feel I need to stay on top of it all day every day. That said, if you're a member, and you have noticed I'm not all that present these days as I once was. This is why. I grew too big for PMDD. I've learned to much to go back and box myself in to that way of thinking. I am so blessed, and I only hope that some of you find yourselves reading this now and connecting with it. For those that don't, do not dismay, please. Just as I didn't quite connect with Cat's words upon her departure from the label, my words may not resonate with you now. But someday... if you let your inner goddess follow you, someday, they will.
X - Danielle
At that stage in my life, I was still heavily embroiled in PMDD advocacy and wanting to find relief for women. I had begun to see improvements in my own life, but they were mostly still from a medical/physical standpoint. I came off of birth control, which I'd been on for 22 months. Yes, I am still a hater of birth control even though it helped me some while I was on it. It makes so many women worse, and it's just a band-aid.
Yes, a band-aid. The Yaz wasn't hurting me in any way. In fact, it reduced my number of bad days while I was on it. In effort to be true to me, though, and to my cycle, I knew I couldn't stay on it. It was more important to me to endure whatever came my way without the buffer of birth control in a pursuit of getting in touch with my true cycle than to escape PMDD. To my surprise, when I went off of Yaz, there was no turbulence. My PMDD was not any worse. Because of this, I only felt stronger that it was the right choice to stop it. As my spiritual connection to my inner divine feminine strengthened, I felt PMDD melt away more.
I also started making some serious choices regarding my lifestyle. I added in more whole foods. I don't drink alcohol much to begin with and I don't use any drugs, though I would be open to marijuana if I ever felt I needed something again in my life. I cut out toxic people. This was a big change for me. I don't care who it is. A shitty boss, your overbearing mother, your hubby's family... no one said it was going to be easy, ladies. There may be arguments over it, as well. I've been there. But if there are people in your life who aren't serving you well and helping to carry you to a higher level of being, then they have no place there. It doesn't matter who they are. Cut them out.
That same year, my fiance and I separated for a bit. If you want to call it that. He moved out. We lived apart for several months, and it took that for me to have some true separation in my mind of what feelings and thoughts were really coming from me, and what was fueled by PMDD. We moved back in together eventually and have been stronger for it ever since.
The following year, I found a full time job working from home as a writer. This was a big accomplishment for me personally, because I am more comfortable at home. Having to be on someone else's schedule and leave the house every day just isn't my style. I realize that may sound immature or even selfish, but in an effort to be true to me and who I am, I decided I had to break the mold of what society, my partner or my parents etc thought I should be. I needed to create. I have always been a writer. This is who I am. Going against that in any fashion left me feeling angry and depleted. The energy that would come out every month had nowhere to go, so it ended up being directed in the wrong places as anger and frustration.
At this point, things really started improving for me. The bad days were at their fewest. The depression was mild. I was still functioning. I was social. I lived life on my own schedule, which was a huge relief for me. When a family function arose that I didn't want to attend, I didn't go. I learned to say no, and it was empowering and beneficial. The downside to this was that sometimes those functions were my partner's family, and he would argue with me about my attendance. As soon as we both let go of the idea that we had to be the nuclear family and do everything expected of us, and had to do everything together, life got easier. He loves going to those events. So, he'd go without me. Sometimes he would take the kids and sometimes he wouldn't. The point is, I do what I want, and as childish as that sounds... that is truly what women throughout history are supposed to be doing. It is society that has led us astray. It's not about material or surface wants. It's about instinct and intuition. It's about letting our cycle and the phase we are in guide us and not fighting back against it. Living this way will truly only bring you peace. It can just be a battle to get everyone around you to accept it in this day and age of societal norms and everyone being PC.
Life continued to get better that year and we eventually moved. We had been living in our hometown (which I hate with a passion lol) while my partner studied for, took and passed the bar exam. As soon as he found a job, we were on our way out. This again helped, because that was the last place I ever wanted to live. Again, it's all about following your gut and living a true life that meets your needs. While it's no secret that my ultimate goal is to live back in Salem, Mass (I am most certainly some kind of witch lol) again, that is on pause until it makes the most sense for our family to go back there. And you know what? I'm okay with that. I wasn't for a while. I was bent on going back ASAP. Then my partner got a job offer that would've taken us back, but it also would've meant we'd barely ever see him. I chose him and our family. I made that choice. Just like I made the choice recently to buy a house locally. We will get back to Salem, where my heart is stuck beating without me. Until then, I will live this life to the fullest and accept all that comes with it. Don't skip part of your journey because you're so eager to jump ahead. Don't assume life doesn't start until you find the guy, get the ring, have that baby and so forth. This is your life. Are you really living it?
By 2014 I was a far different person than the woman who started out with PMDD struggling so deeply. I had learned so much, and while I'd probably read every piece of peer-reviewed literature ever published on hormones and menstruation, it was the insight from historical points of view and spirituality that eventually put me on the right path. Read more about that here.
When Cat turned the Red Tent over to me and parted ways, she left a long post to group members about her reasons for departing, and while I sympathized, I didn't fully understand this until much later. It's refreshing and exciting to find myself in the same place nowadays. Now I get it. I've outgrown this label. I've outgrown PMDD. What I am is far bigger than PMDD. I am a woman. I'm mysterious and mystical. I have superpowers that PMDD wants to suppress with a label and drugs. I am product of hundreds and thousands of women who came before me whose spirits are pleading with me to recognize my true power.
The closer to get to those women, the closer I get to the divine feminine, the closer I get to me. It all makes sense now. And thus, because I have outgrown this label, I too chose to leave it behind. I shudder a bit when having to explain PMDD to someone, because I don't even want to use the terminology. I still ponder medical causes and don't discount that this condition arises out of nowhere for most women. It certainly did for me. But I look back now and see how it all played out. I see how much work it took to undo it, and I am stronger for that. This is why even though I do wonder if my PMDD will ever return, I do not fear such as terribly as some might think. Because I know I can overcome it. And I know you can, too.
I haven't made a grand announcement in my group that I'm leaving it behind. Mostly, I am not yet content with any one person that I want to pass it on to. But I have a great admin team that helps out. And as I noted, the drama and negativity are at the bare minimum in our group. So, I never feel I need to stay on top of it all day every day. That said, if you're a member, and you have noticed I'm not all that present these days as I once was. This is why. I grew too big for PMDD. I've learned to much to go back and box myself in to that way of thinking. I am so blessed, and I only hope that some of you find yourselves reading this now and connecting with it. For those that don't, do not dismay, please. Just as I didn't quite connect with Cat's words upon her departure from the label, my words may not resonate with you now. But someday... if you let your inner goddess follow you, someday, they will.
X - Danielle
Negative Nancys and PMDD
I shared my first new blog post in quite a while in some PMDD support groups yesterday and couldn't believe the amount of negativity I was met with in some of them. Thankfully, the group I run was pleasant and supportive. You can find that group here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/PMDDREDTENT/
Now, this isn't to toot my own horn or anything, because it's a group of more than 1500 women. It's hardly just me running the show, too. We have some great admin on board that help out. I am grateful to them, and many of the reasons why will unfold in my future posts.
Nonetheless, I got some angry faced reactions to my post yesterday in other groups. One woman even told me — assuming my recovery from PMDD was new (clearly didn't read the blog well) — that it was premature for me to claim I was PMDD-free and to let her know how I'm doing in a year. Girl, no worries. I will. I'll continue to post about my journey. But just so we're all clear: I haven't had PMDD at all since early 2015, and at that point it had been getting milder each cycle for roughly a year's time. So, I don't think 2.5 years of no PMDD is premature, but whatevs!
I will keep sharing my story and hope that it inspires someone, somewhere. If my PMDD returns at any point, I will share that, too. I'm not going to cower away in shame that my joyous recovery fell to the wayside. Remember, healing from PMDD is just as much a spiritual journey as a physical one. In fact, I believe it's that moreso than it even is medical. If I stop being true to myself, I can certainly expect a return of symptoms of dysfunction in my life. I'm here to be transparent and honest.
I hope that my words cross someone's path at just the right time, much the way posts by the great Cat Hawkins did for me years ago. If you haven't read her blog, you can find it here: http://meetmypmdd.blogspot.com/
This woman is my spirit sister, I swear to you. We walk very similar paths. Much like myself, Cat has found relief over the years from her troubles. What's interesting is, when I first started struggling with PMDD, I was very little like her. No, I didn't set out to be like her either. That's just something that's sort of evolved in my own life. Who I've become during this journey to get to know the divine feminine and my inner goddess better has happened to turn out looking a lot like who she became on hers. I always wonder if there's something to that. And certainly she and I are not the only ones!
So, here I am rambling. You'll notice I struggle at times to stay on topic. So much energy is flying out of my fingertips and I just need to get it out there. Writing is my creative process. I think of things to write in the middle of the night, in dreams, during my morning shower or an evening bath... I'm always thinking of strings of words and where to use them. Getting them out on paper is helpful for me. I hope to now put them out here more so they can be helpful to you, too.
Negative Nancys.... that was the point of this. I have watched the support group scene for many years. Once upon a time, I was a newcomer to them. I was a woman eager to learn about this disease I had just realized I had. It took me a long time to come to terms with the fact that much of this condition I was in was not a medical problem, but a spiritual and evolutionary journey that I was on to becoming a fuller and wiser woman.
I'm not trying to bullshit you. Please stick with me. Follow your gut. Hone those instincts. Trust yourself. There is a bigger purpose behind all of this. There is a reason I never desired hysterectomy. I never wanted to escape the madness. I wanted to perfect and conquer it, and for right now, I'm doing a pretty good job at that.
Full disclosure: my own support group is certainly not always positive and uplifting. However, when I notice a steady stream of negative posts (common during full moons), I tend to pop in just to interject a little positivity. A light-hearted meme and a post telling them all that this soon shall pass is often enough.
When I enter many of the other groups, I have noticed for a long time that there are stark differences. There are groups that is stuffed full of anger and rage. Women are venting. I get that. But where is the support? We must remember that support groups aren't just full of women posting and looking for others to commiserate with them. They are also full of lurkers who are reading along and women who need lifted back up. I don't see a whole lot of that in other groups. I try to be that person in mine, but I also have to temper how much I let myself get wrapped up in the world of PMDD. More on that later...
If you're a part of a PMDD support group, I beg of you to not just pop in during your bad weeks to vent. Stop by during the good weeks to remind someone else who is struggling that the good days lie ahead. Share your good news in your life, too. Share with these ladies when your relationship is soaring to new heights and doing well, not just when it's crashing and burning. I know it's difficult to bring oneself to want to think about anything PMDD-related during the good days, but there's healing in this for you, too. It is only when we are fully aware of our entire menstrual cycle and all four seasons of it that we can really begin to be true to ourselves and present in our femininity.
Last but not least, if you are seeking help in these support groups, I certainly don't want to discourage that. But I do want to encourage you to make a note of your moods before, during and after you pop into those groups. Do they really make you feel better afterward? They aren't for everyone, and often we get so used to having those groups as a part of our PMDD connection to others that we don't pay attention to whether or not they're really helping. For a lot of women, the negative environment in these groups can breed anxiety and further depression. If that's occurring for you, find a new group or another way to cope with those feelings. At the end of the day, I wish all of the groups well. But we all need to make sure we aren't feeding this beast with negative energy.
Love,
Danielle
Now, this isn't to toot my own horn or anything, because it's a group of more than 1500 women. It's hardly just me running the show, too. We have some great admin on board that help out. I am grateful to them, and many of the reasons why will unfold in my future posts.
Nonetheless, I got some angry faced reactions to my post yesterday in other groups. One woman even told me — assuming my recovery from PMDD was new (clearly didn't read the blog well) — that it was premature for me to claim I was PMDD-free and to let her know how I'm doing in a year. Girl, no worries. I will. I'll continue to post about my journey. But just so we're all clear: I haven't had PMDD at all since early 2015, and at that point it had been getting milder each cycle for roughly a year's time. So, I don't think 2.5 years of no PMDD is premature, but whatevs!
I will keep sharing my story and hope that it inspires someone, somewhere. If my PMDD returns at any point, I will share that, too. I'm not going to cower away in shame that my joyous recovery fell to the wayside. Remember, healing from PMDD is just as much a spiritual journey as a physical one. In fact, I believe it's that moreso than it even is medical. If I stop being true to myself, I can certainly expect a return of symptoms of dysfunction in my life. I'm here to be transparent and honest.
I hope that my words cross someone's path at just the right time, much the way posts by the great Cat Hawkins did for me years ago. If you haven't read her blog, you can find it here: http://meetmypmdd.blogspot.com/
This woman is my spirit sister, I swear to you. We walk very similar paths. Much like myself, Cat has found relief over the years from her troubles. What's interesting is, when I first started struggling with PMDD, I was very little like her. No, I didn't set out to be like her either. That's just something that's sort of evolved in my own life. Who I've become during this journey to get to know the divine feminine and my inner goddess better has happened to turn out looking a lot like who she became on hers. I always wonder if there's something to that. And certainly she and I are not the only ones!
So, here I am rambling. You'll notice I struggle at times to stay on topic. So much energy is flying out of my fingertips and I just need to get it out there. Writing is my creative process. I think of things to write in the middle of the night, in dreams, during my morning shower or an evening bath... I'm always thinking of strings of words and where to use them. Getting them out on paper is helpful for me. I hope to now put them out here more so they can be helpful to you, too.
Negative Nancys.... that was the point of this. I have watched the support group scene for many years. Once upon a time, I was a newcomer to them. I was a woman eager to learn about this disease I had just realized I had. It took me a long time to come to terms with the fact that much of this condition I was in was not a medical problem, but a spiritual and evolutionary journey that I was on to becoming a fuller and wiser woman.
I'm not trying to bullshit you. Please stick with me. Follow your gut. Hone those instincts. Trust yourself. There is a bigger purpose behind all of this. There is a reason I never desired hysterectomy. I never wanted to escape the madness. I wanted to perfect and conquer it, and for right now, I'm doing a pretty good job at that.
Full disclosure: my own support group is certainly not always positive and uplifting. However, when I notice a steady stream of negative posts (common during full moons), I tend to pop in just to interject a little positivity. A light-hearted meme and a post telling them all that this soon shall pass is often enough.
When I enter many of the other groups, I have noticed for a long time that there are stark differences. There are groups that is stuffed full of anger and rage. Women are venting. I get that. But where is the support? We must remember that support groups aren't just full of women posting and looking for others to commiserate with them. They are also full of lurkers who are reading along and women who need lifted back up. I don't see a whole lot of that in other groups. I try to be that person in mine, but I also have to temper how much I let myself get wrapped up in the world of PMDD. More on that later...
If you're a part of a PMDD support group, I beg of you to not just pop in during your bad weeks to vent. Stop by during the good weeks to remind someone else who is struggling that the good days lie ahead. Share your good news in your life, too. Share with these ladies when your relationship is soaring to new heights and doing well, not just when it's crashing and burning. I know it's difficult to bring oneself to want to think about anything PMDD-related during the good days, but there's healing in this for you, too. It is only when we are fully aware of our entire menstrual cycle and all four seasons of it that we can really begin to be true to ourselves and present in our femininity.
Last but not least, if you are seeking help in these support groups, I certainly don't want to discourage that. But I do want to encourage you to make a note of your moods before, during and after you pop into those groups. Do they really make you feel better afterward? They aren't for everyone, and often we get so used to having those groups as a part of our PMDD connection to others that we don't pay attention to whether or not they're really helping. For a lot of women, the negative environment in these groups can breed anxiety and further depression. If that's occurring for you, find a new group or another way to cope with those feelings. At the end of the day, I wish all of the groups well. But we all need to make sure we aren't feeding this beast with negative energy.
Love,
Danielle
Friday, July 28, 2017
Why Some PMDD Women Are Worse During Pregnancy
In short, because you don't just have PMDD but progesterone intolerance on top of it. Read all about it here:
http://www.babygaga.com/15-little-known-signs-of-progesterone-intolerance-during-pregnancy/
XO,
Dani
http://www.babygaga.com/15-little-known-signs-of-progesterone-intolerance-during-pregnancy/
XO,
Dani
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