Wait for it.... utterly brutal. Terrible. Awful. All-consuming. Horrific. Violent. Rageful.
(insert screeching car braking noise). Just kidding! Not bad at all actually. No, really.
So I stopped Yaz in the end of November. You might remember that lovely cyst I developed, which I truly believe birth control to have been the ultimate cause of. I digress... the cyst went away. Yay for that. Here I am six months later and I am just not starting to feel somewhat normal. My cycles have been sporadically jumping around from 23-29 days. The longer ones are actually worse in terms of PMDD. The shorter the cycle, the less likely I am to have bad moods and irritability that linger for about a week. Sex drive is the same off the pill as it was on it. As are many other things like my level of fatigue. Acne is far worse. I had some terrible troubles with it on my back that are finally starting (key word: starting) to clear up slowly. My face can still be a mess from time to time though and I've generally had a pimple or two pretty consistently at all time since going off Yaz.
I am happy to report that life is still a billion times better now off Yaz than it was before it. I in no way think Yaz changed me for the better, or cured any facet of PMDD. Rather, I think it gave me 22 months of breathing room. It was never my plan to stay on Yaz forever, and I'm not sure i will ever go back on it. However, that choice has everything to do with my personal goals to live fairly pharmaceutical-free, and nothing to do with Yaz itself. I needed the clarity it brought to my life for those 22 months. It helped me to clearly see what was happening to me and to start managing it. I learned coping skills I wouldn't have been able to stay on top of when under the fog of PMDD before. All in all, I got stronger. The Yaz took some of the heat off so I could heal a bit and wrap my head around what was going on. So I imagine PMDD is much the same for me as it was before Yaz, it's just that I have grown to be better at managing it, coping with its side effects, and wrangling it in when it gets too crazy.
Forgive me now, it's nearly 2 and I get sleepy (with or without Yaz lol) every day at this time. Talking and writing aren't my best traits for the next two hours or so. Thus, I'll sign off and get up off this sofa before I fall asleep. Have a good day friend.
